Clubs are here, mmkay? [link]


Alrighty then.
Its 4 in the morning, and all I can think about is life and death. Not in that morbidly emo way. Just that life is over too quickly and then everything is gone and how do you know if you accomplished what you wanted in life? How do you know if you were really FUFILLED!?

Then that got me thinking about little me, years ago, who would proudly smile and tell strangers (When mommy cued) That "I want to be a Marine Biologist!"

Which was lovely, really. Because at the time I did. IT WAS MY DREAM.
But not, it's like, this is real life, and I can't stand the sight of blood or fish guts, how am I supposed to be a Marine Biologist? I just...can't do that kind of thing. I feel bad, because there's a part of me whose still 3 years old and wondering why we can't swim with the fishies.


But I've always thought about a career in writing, because I love doing it and have been told I'm very good. I realise it's hard to break into a writing (and art) career, and I really don't want to be living in a cardboard box for the rest of my life. Heh. I mean, I'll have Mickey, hopefully. So, he's always willing to support me.
But I don't want to use him as some sort of money-crutch.

And what's worse, is that the surefire path to cardboard-box-dom is not having a job at all, or any sort of plan.

And that's kind of where I am. I've been telling people "As soon as I get out of Highschool, I'm shooting straight to Ireland, no questions asked" but I've got no idea where to go and where I'm going to live. Just that I'm going.
What am I going to do when I get there?

I need a plan.

So, right now, at four in the morning, I'm doing something I've been putting off for years.

Looking at colleges.

I guess, I put it off so much because It's a sign that I'm older, now. A HUGE choice -I- to make, and if I fail it's my own fault. I don't want to be thrusted into Adulthood only to make a mistake that could ruin my whole life.

Yeah, these are my 4am thoughts.


So, I'm looking at colleges riiight now, as we speak. Well, as I type.
And I actually found one I'm really interested in. Amazing, right?

University of Vermont. I know, Vermont isn't Ireland, but Vermont is stable and planned and comforting because I know where I want to go, What I'm going to do, even where I'm going to live.

Sort of.

I'm trying to find an apartment in the Burlington area right now. 1 bedroom, preferably allowing pets.

Because if the place doesn't let me have a kitten, I'm seriously sneaking one in. I don't care if they throw me out.
Well, I do, but at least I'll have my kitten.


And, I'm going to need a job in that area as well. I've got a firing on my record, so it's not going to be an easy thing to do, but I'm going to start looking. I'll need a summer job here as well. I might take art commissions, if I improve, because right now my art is trash and -I- wouldn't buy it.

Okay, maybe not trash. That's a bit harsh, even for me.


I know one thing I DON'T want to do is live in campus. I just..I don't know. I don't like the close proximity of campus housing. If I can't find an apartment, though, I'll live on campus for my first year if I absolutely have to.
A roof over my head is still a roof, nomatter where it is, right?
And oh god, I don't want a roommate. -clings to Mickey- If we get an apartment, we can live together. And I won't have to live with someone seriously scary. Which is a possibility.

Vermont is really beautiful, so I'm excited that I might be living there.

I say MIGHT, because a big flaw in most people is to have one plan and stick to it and be happy.

That's a flaw, because if I don't get into Uni of Vermont, where does that leave me?

Card. Board. Box.

So I'm going to have a couple back up plans. Champlain College is one of them. It's a very nice Private collage. I've seen some pictures. Not as Pretty as Uni of Vermont, but still beautiful.

And unlike Uni of Vermont, they offer courses in professional and creative writing. Something I can DEFINATELY do.

Right now, I'm looking at art courses, foreign studies, and several language courses. Including GREEK.
Those are at Uni of Vermont, though.

And I'm concentrating on back-up plans. Or, at least trying too.


If all else fails, I'll got to PCC. Urgh. But since mostly everyone I know is going to PCC, I'm tying to stay as far away from PCC as possible. I want a fresh start, where people don't already hate me for being weird. I want to go out into the world, not stay confined to where I am now.


I really, really hope I don't have to settle for PCC. -sigh- I don't want my degrees and whatnot from a school famous for letting anyone in.

"If you fail highschool, go to PCC."

Seriously. Urhg.



So yeah. That's what I've been doing. Looking at schools. If anyone has any good recommendations for colleges, I'd love to hear them. Anywhere is fine, really, as long as it's not some place with like, tornadoes every day and a rapist on every corner.

I'd also like schools to preferably have courses in writing and art.
Though, I MAY do Zoology.

Always gotta have a backup. <3